when i started reviewing games on youtube,i thought ã¬how can i boost my channel up early on?ã®, and then i realised ã¬ah! peoplelike shit! although generally i prefer talking about games i like, iãll do some negativevideos!ã®ã–and so i did just that! and it worked! those 3 ã¬worst 20 genesis gamesã®videos were quite popular!...but, hell, they could have been better. soã–well, why notrevisit the topic? itãs not really what i do anymore, but seeing as the old videos arekind of buggered and iãve got more experience under my beltã–itãs still a dig thatãs worthmining, isnãt it? so letãs not waste any more time. gather your shovels, ladies andgentlemen, and get ready for the worst games that the greatest of consoles has to offer!itãs the top 20 worst sega genesis games,
redone! and it starts now. we start with one of the mega driveãs firstsports games ã± world cup italia ã90! you can forgive old sports games a lot of thetime for being rubbish ã± they might well have been good at some point, but itãs agenre all about trying to replicate somethingã–.when something that technically replicates a sportbetter comes along, a lot of the older games become obsoleteã–only the classics survive.world cup italia ã90 was not, is not and never will be a classic. in fact, it was horrendouseven back thenã–you know what this used to be? my self-hate game ã± iãm bored, i lookat my games and get cheesed off because i canãt decide what to play at all, and soi punish myself by playing this, so i could
fume at the irritating music, bemoan the stiffcontrols and how the game felt like you were moving through glue, or scowl at graphicsthat looked like they were drawn byã–well, me. the matches also last an eternity, andthe only way to play is by hurling up long balls wherever you goã–i almost want to giveit some credit because iãve played it so much, but no ã± itãs awful and thatãs whyi played it, so i could relax and settle into my state of irritated ennui, wondering whyi wasnãt playing fucking streets of rage 2 or whatever. itãs a good way to start! rastan saga ii by taito thankfully doesnãtcome with any psychological baggage ã± itãs just cack. do you remember the original rastan?ã«twas a very nice, fast-paced arcade game
ã± of all the many games that featured a conan-esquestrapping muscle-bound bear of a man front and centre, it was amongst the best ã± andit also got a cracking port on the master system to boot!..the gameãs sequel arrivedsoon after and was ported to the md in 1990ã–and itãs a shattering disappointment. the speedãsthe first concern ã± since the first game, it appears as though rastanãs contractedrheumatism, arthritis, and shinglesã–seriously, iãd have a more kinetic experience with abloody 85-year old. but then when he jumps, he goes for bloody miles and you can barelycontrol it!...itãs a royal pain. but really, the designãs just gone to pot ã± rastanãsjumping puzzles and variation is completely gone in favour of walking right and hammeringyour sword button ã± usually so you can break
blocks as opposed to skewering enemiesã–notfun. the only joy in this game comes from the laughably bad translation jobã–god, lookat this. but in the end, you expect a hell of a lot better from taitoã–having said allthat, itãs not a bad conversion of the actual arcade game! because that was utterly horribletoo. next up is the 16-bit mickey mouse game no-onereally likes to talk about ã± because after all, most of them were very good! from castleof illusion on the mega drive to magical quest on the snes, mickey mouse being on the coverwas usually a signifier of a good timeã–except for this one. fantasia came about in the wakeof both the success of castle of illusion and the re-release of the classic film incinemas and on videoã–sega usually developed
the mickey games themselves, but this timedecided to give the reins over to european developers infogramesã–the result was a shitshow.why so awful? well, the platforming is so ungainly ã± itãs one of those games wherethe jumping is very delayed, making it hard to judge when to jumpã–and this game requiresvery precise platforming, making it frustrating as hell. the collision detection is also buggered,making almost any enemy encounter potentially deadly. and if you donãt collect every musicalnote in a stage, you have to repeat it all over againã–in all my time spent playing it,iãve never got past level 1. the graphics are admittedly ok, but theyãre also pairedwith awful renditions of the classical pieces chosen for the filmã–the whole game is hopeless,a maelstrom of cack-handed design that was
quickly swept under the carpet. needless tosay, infogrames werenãt asked back for world of illusionã–thank heaven for small mercies. stormlord is the first game here that didnãtfeature in the original list, but it probably deserves it. hell, quite a few games by razorsoft deserve to be on here ã± they tried to find a niche in the early days of the megadrive by producing ã¬adultã® video games ã± in other words, sex and violence! even beforethat became a trendã–trouble was, they were all terrible ã± thereãs a good reason whyrazorsoft appear on this list no less than three timesã–anyway, stormlordãs first up.this isnãt all that violent, but thereãs certainly sex ã± lots of damn near naked womenabout. not that this changes anything about
the game ã± a very bad platformer-cum-puzzlegame, another one where you have to collect crap in order to finish a levelã–the big problemhere though is that you usually have to do a level in a very exact way, otherwise youhave to restart. and thereãs several cases where you can screw up and not be able todie, meaning youãd have to reset the damn game ã± you can honestly do this without evenknowing it. just atrocious designã–itãs no surprise that the game started out life asa mediocre euro 8-bit game, originally made for the c64 and spectrum ã± that sort of shitdoesnãt transfer well to the mega drive. stormlord is an ugly, terrible game that onlyever got cheap notoriety thanks to the promise of badly drawn breasts ã± an embarrassmentthatãs right down at the bottom of the barrel.
the first time i made the list, ultraman waspretty high ã± it made the top 3, in fact. since thenã–iãve made peace with it a littleã± thereãs plenty worse fighting games around. itãs still quite awful though ã± itãs probablybetter known on the snes, and this mega drive version never left japan, but itãs stillthe same gameã–some things like the animation and the general throwing around of big monstersisnãt so bad ã± it does sort of feel like a big cheesy 60ãs monster battle. the troublewith the game mostly comes when you have to end a fight ã± when you knock an enemyãsbar down to zero, they donãt die. to kill them, you have to charge up your weapons tofull power and use the specium beamã–doing this can take quite a long time, and you onlyever get a very short window to hit it in
ã± if you miss, or if itãs blocked, or ifthe enemyãs health isnãt at zero ã± and it does recharge ã± youãll have to spenda good 2 minutes charging the beam over againã–and needless to say, the enemy doesnãt have todo this in order to kill you. this one terrible idea utterly kills the game, and makes itmiserable to play ã± who wants to spend an eternity pointlessly beating up on a near-deadenemy, just waiting for a beam to charge? not me. more pointless violence! more ugly graphics!more utter shit! i canãt believe i forgot time killers the first time throughã–thereãsa lot of terrible beat-ã«em-ups on the mega drive of course, but i somehow overlookedthis oneã–itãs just plain grotesque. obviously
itãs a game that came out in the wake ofmortal kombat ã± suddenly violence is all the rage! canãt have a game unless thereãspints of blood leaking out everywhere so we can upset joe lieberman! damn near all mid-90ãsgame marketing was based around trying to trigger the streisand effectã–and hereãsone that didnãt work. nobody gave even the slightest solitary fuck about time killers,least of all joe lieberman. i mean, how could you? look at the bloody thing! these are someof the worst graphics i have ever seen, and they move at what feels like 0.03 milliframesper second. seriously, iãve seen better playing beat-ã«em-ups on freaking newgrounds. forall the many times the games industry has done something embarrassing in the ensuingyears, iãd still put this one up as one of
the worstã–if you had a hand in making it,you should never ever be able to live it down. i doubt anyone responsible includes it ontheir c.v, in any caseã–holy shit, what a calamity. you think capcom only recently started makingutterly stupid decisions? think again. why, one of the stupidest things they ever didwas to take a truly stunning, epic arcade and console game ã± one of the greatest gamesever made, the almighty strider ã± and let u.s. gold and tiertex make a sequel. guyswho came off as incompetent at best, and flat-out devious at worst. they came up with striderii, a disaster that had virtually nothing in common with the classic original, and camedamn close to killing off strider completely.
funny thing is, like stormlord, this was originallya game for old european computers like the spectrum that somehow ended up making it allthe way to the mega drive, presumably because the original was such a big seller. itãsreflected in the horribly simplistic and repetitive design, the random enemy spawning, and thewoeful optimisation ã± the game runs with all the grace and beauty of a clogged-up drainpipe.it was a rubbish game on the spectrum, a rubbish game on the c64, a rubbish game on the amiga,and ã± guess what? ã± it was an utterly freaking abominable game on the mega drive. one ofthe worst sequels ever, ever made. the most hyped game of the whole 16-bit era- a fighting game that would not only change videogames, but the entire world. the bookswould have to be rewritten, with ã¬rise of
the robotsã® printed in 200-point font onevery page ã± everything else would be a mere footnote. rise of the robots was more thanjust the first game built for the new millennium, it was a year zero event ã± a hydrogen bombthat would turn everything else into glass. the hype built for over a year, until it gotout of controlã–and then finally, in december 1994, the bomb was dropped. the universe seemedto take a sharp intake of breath...everyone waited to hear the shouts, to see if anyoneelse was still alive. and finally, those shouts cameã–ã®itãs a pile of fucking shit!ã® rise of the robots was a truly epic, calamitousflop ã± the mega drive version of the game is just one of many abominations releasedfor every platform going ã± theyãd have got
the game on the bloody virtual boy if theyãdever had the chance. it promised so much that it couldnãt deliver ã± a full, rocking brianmay soundtrack that consisted of about five seconds of awful-quality fm droning. full,interactive 3d backgrounds that were actually static images with fighters crudely stuckonto them. a fighting engine that was so damn smart it could be beaten with the use of afreaking jumpkick. the whole thing was just a colossal waste of time ã± all the bisondollars spent on the marketing were poured into a shitty, fundamentally broken fightinggameã–fools and their money, eh? donãt you just love them? ugh. thatãs just about all i have to say,franklyã–oh well, i guess i ought to put something
down. x-perts is a spin-off game from segaãslilã fighting series that never quite made it ã± eternal champions. you play as the japaneseassassin, shadow yamoto, as well as two otherã–um, people who exist. youãre all a part of aspecial crack super secret team of elite beating agents who travel the world searching forfellow badly-digitised sprites they can beat up on. alpha protocol, this is notã–what itis is an awful beat-ã«em-up ã± a game with about 2 different enemy sprites, no music,repetitive backgrounds, and dull objectives that took so damn long to do that youãd bepraying for death after about 5 minutes of play. and it was one of the last games releasedfor the system to bootã–talk about a sour note to end things on. x-perts feels likea 16-bit dudeãs idea of bringing the 32-bit
experience to a machine like the md, but hisjudgementãs slightly clouded because the only ps1 game heãs ever played is bubsy 3d.the only good part about it is that when the big muscle-y male character operates a computer,he looks like heãs doing a bit of joystick waggling. this is the only joy you will everget of x-perts. ever. savour the moment, and then throw the sorry cartridge straight intoa woodchipper. one of the mega driveãs most famous bad games,i guess. dark castle was close to five years old by the time it came to the mega drive,having started out life as a game for the apple macintosh, amongst other computers ã±it also came out for the amiga and the c64. hereã–well, things werenãt awful. you useda mouse and keyboard for control, the voice
samples were pretty clear, there wasnãt anyterrible musicã–itãs not a bad game for 1986. but here on the md, in 1991? things are different.for a start, the computer versions used a mouse to aim ã± the md uses the joypad, whichmakes aiming a horrendously slow process ã± good luck killing anything at all. the controlsare basically like a poor manãs prince of persia, without any of that gameãs accuracy,and the sound? ew, godã–tons of digitised voices, all given the mega drive treatmentã± distorted to hell and difficult to listen to. hereãs the thing ã± there are amusingelements in dark castle. yes, your peasant ã¬heroã® is ludicrously weak ã± if he jumpsonto stairs, he falls and breaks his neck, and all he can do is chuck rocks at enemiesã–thatis, when heãs not dizzy. itãs like if roger
wilco had got into platforming instead ofpuzzlingã–this is obviously all intentional, and it would have worked in a better gameã–butalas, this port of dark castle is just totally broken. any other version of the game is betterthan this hopeless md effort, which is kinda saying a lot. the third and final new game in the top 20!...anditãs licensed. i never bothered to cover wolverine when i did the big a-zã–i know exactlywhy ã± i knew how pissed off it would make me. this is a game where itãs not just frustratingto jump on platforms, or to kill enemies ã± though believe me, both those things willburn your arse too ã± itãs frustrating to even do anything at all. even walking willannoy you! adamantium rage is almost promising
at first ã± you might think of it as likethe mdãs other x-men games, all of which are goodã–but no. where does it fail? controls,perhaps? hoo, boyã–wolverine here appears to have about 20 moves, and theyãve all beenassigned to the controller at random. i press a down-focused combo? wolverine attacks up.press a button? goes flying across the screen. the directions of the attacks donãt matchthe actions on the d-pad, which about says it all ã± itãs one of the most broken gamesiãve ever come across. and every time i play it, i find myself nursing a headache afterabout 30 seconds, wondering what on earth the people behind this were playing at. still,at least thereãs always games like clone wars to ease the painã–other licenses werenãtever so lucky.
heyã–wanna see some porn? i gots some foryou right here! this is divine sealing ã± the one and only shoot-ã«em-up on this list.i could have picked others, but truthfully divine sealing is so far ahead of the packthat it stands on its ownã–why? this is why. freaking hentai. your every success is greetedby big, badly-drawn cartoon plug sockets! and they sure arenãt afraid to get theirflapjacks outã–look, weãve all got our own kinks, okay? itãs just that thisã–yeeah.me no get ã± in fact, it makes me throw up in my mouth a little. anyway, iãve shownyou what you all wanted to see - let me move onto something more comfortable. porn aside,the gameãs also here because holy christ is it terrible. the porn is only the secondworst sight in the game ã± the first is that
fucking waterã–itãs just wrong. it glowsin the dark. itãd probably cause an epileptic fit. makes the game virtually unplayableã–myeyes truly are hurting right now. so yesã–thatãs divine sealing. a shameful game ã± as soonas i play it, i want to die...having said all of that, the gameãs title music? stupidlyawesome. a gem covered in 40-year old fat smelly nerd-spunk. razorsoft are back again, with another verymature adult title for adults and certainly not for kids. technocop, originally an amigagame, is a game where you protect and serve the people by shooting them in the chest.that is, after youãve drived to your location!...you might want to put on your glasses for this,seeing as the displayãs like a postage stamp.
and you have to press up to accelerate, whichis sort of like strapping the pedal to your steering wheel. good idea! but finally, youãrethere! and hoo-boy, youãll wish you werenãt. the game play is wretched ã± every enemy hitsyou because you always have to take your gun out and then shoot instead of justã–i dunno,having it out and ready like any sane cop would. sonny bonds would not be impressed.all you have to do is find the perp, shoot them in the chest, and then the whole processrepeatsã–and donãt forget to shoot any children you spot running around in the chest as well!seriously, this gameã–it disgusts me. a terrible game, and a needlessly sick piece of codeã–you may say ã¬well, what about mortalkombat?ã® ã± craft went into that. and so did heart. literally, in fact. this, on theother hand? itãs just cheap and gross, and
it makes me feel unclean. some games fell down the top 20, and others,like a damn fine cake, rose majestically. hereãs one of the latterã–truth is, youãllprobably only know nightmare circus if you had the sega channel ã± it was a late-periodgame that ended up cancelled after completion, and was only ever physically released in brazilã± other than that, the game only ever appeared on segaãs nascent games on-demand serviceã–itwas, amazingly, deemed too shit for full release. even in 1995, when games like x-perts werea-ok! you play as a sort of brandon lee-esque native american dude who knows kung-fu, andyou go through various levels in a demonic funfair trying toã–um, do things. i seriouslyhave no idea how you even play the damn thing
ã± i just struggle with the botched-up controlsuntil i inevitably die. gasp! as you wonder why your characterãs suddenly decided todo push-ups in the middle of a run. fret! as kicks and punches appear to magically gostraight through enemies without killing them. swear! as you realise how much of a spirituallow youãve hit by playing this awful crap for the internet. to be honest, few of youwill have ever played this gameã–consider it a rite of passage, a sign that youãvetruly been around. i played nightmare circus, what have you ever done?...yeah. well, whateverit takes to cope. another awful beatãem-up. woo-hoo! ka-ge-kiwas an old arcade game that somehow found its way onto the mega driveã–the originalwasnãt much good either, but it did at least
feel a bit more like a rumble ã± multipleenemies to take on and that sort of thing. it also has a big, thoroughly japanese art-stylethatãs perhaps a bit of an acquired taste ã± i donãt like it much myself, but i couldsee the appealã–anyway, the mega drive game has been somewhat simplified. you only fightone enemy at a time. and all you have to do is punch them repeatedly while holding thedirection away from them ã± this is how you win. you do this for every single enemy inthe game ã± get the timing right and you wonãt even so much as take a hit. and every timethey go down, it takes a minute for them to get back up. every bloody timeã–in short,ka-ge-ki is one of the slowest, dumbest and most wearying experiences iãve ever enduredon the mega drive, and playing it is damn
near enough to send me into a boredom-inducedcoma. weãve had quite a few computer ports on thelist so far, havenãt we? not that there werenãt good ones, but wellã–there were more thana few titles like this. although letãs not mince words ã± this game was already terriblebefore it ever got to the mega drive. sword of sodan is proof that bigger doesnãt alwaysequal better ã± you get these absolutely massive, detailed sprites, and all they do is shufflearound like geriatric zombies, aimlessly waving weapons aboutã–itãs a trite, meaninglessexistence. you play as either one of the ancestors of jonathan and jennifer hart, and you solvethe mystery of what happens when you stab a guard repeatedly in the crotch. thatãsall there is to the game, really ã± a minute
in and youãve basically seen everything.thereãs plenty of grunts and groans and quite a bit of blood, and thatãs allã–thereãsalso quite a lot of birdsong, which weirdly is exactly like what youãd hear in one ofeaãs pga tour golf games. if only there was more crossover than thisã–craig stadler wouldhave whooped all these guys to shit in a second. wouldnãt you craig? iãll just shut up for a minute so you canwatch the intro. thatãsã–just stunning. a beautiful job, micronet ã± truly. itãs plainto see that a great deal of very talented artists worked hard on that introduction,and it really gets you pumped up for the game. thereãs just one tiny problemã–what in thechrist did you do with the game? this makes
rise of the robots look like street fighterii! the jumpingãs uncontrollable! every time i get knocked down, i canãt get up for aminute and then i canãt even attack! every damn fight just seems to last 1000 years,and thatãs when iãm getting thrashed! what on earth happened here? heavy novaãs introjust delivers so much, and then after that you end up here, with a fighting game thatsimply doesnãt make any sense. it tries to almost be a strategic fighter ã± certain movesneed to be charged up before you can do them, so you have to pick them carefullyã–but itãshorribly executed. once you take too much of a beating, it gets to a point where youcanãt even punch anymore ã± thereãs nothing you can do to stem the tide. certainly leavesyour robot looking quite hopeless, thatãs
for sureã–the ideas werenãt horrible, howeverã–well,the final result says it all. but weãll always have that superb intro. thereãs a serious issue with burnout goingon here. truth be told, iãm only doing this because youtube buggered up the original videosã± after iãd finished them, i was content to let them sit and never have to play mostof these games here againã–but well, here we are. if you notice me being more causticthan usual, then thatãs your reason! especially when i have to play something like last actionhero again. the game based on the film within a film within a film where someone gets killedwith an ice cream cone to the headã–alas, nothing like that happens in this game.
first off, just look at arnieã–is he ill?or is the game actually from the future and showing what he looks like now in 1993? andlook at the lazy design, where entire assets are repeated every couple of screens withouta care. or notice how arnie never actually fires a gun ã± the worldãs biggest actionhero, famed for butchering extras by the score, apparently didnãt want to be seen shootinganyone in his freaking games. listen to how even the doors cry out in anguish when youbreak them down. look at how every screen is a dull fight between the same enemies overand over again. see how if youãre unfortunate enough to get past this first level, the followingdriving section is virtually unplayable. hear how the music was obviously composed by agroup of chipmunks bashing at a casio. think
on all that youãve just witnessed, and takeit with you ã± for this is one of the worst licensed games of them all. the mind cannottruly fathom a creation this grotesque unless they feel it for themselvesã–but i urge youto never, ever repeat our mistake. welcome. to the fight palace. yes, this isthe game i got my avatar from. the man you just saw is called mondu, and heãs the mainstar of slaughter sport ã± a game also known as tongue of the fatman in other places, aswell as monduãs fight palace when it was originally released on the c64ã–yep, itãsanother game by razor soft! anyway, mondu is the fat lord of the fight palaces, andheãs brought you here for some entertainment! more precisely, his. youãre going to fightother denizens and put on a good show. itãs
even rumoured that mondu himself takes thestage against those who do exceptionally wellã–it all sounds like the plot to a terrible b-movie,doesnãt it? even more so than something like, i dunno, pit-fighter ã± this would be thereal bottom scraper. think about it in 80ãs action terms ã± pit-fighter, at a push, wouldprobably star jean-claude van damme. slaughter sport, on the other handã–jeez. michael dudikoff,if you were lucky. the annoying thing about slaughter sport isthat had the game even being remotely, even the slightest bit competent, it would haveprobably been fun ã± the mere promise of fighting a man who talks through his gargantuan stomachwould be enough to see you throughã–but itãs not. it beggars belief ã± despite all theterrible beat-ã«em-ups and fighting games
weãve seen in the list already, this is easilythe worst and the most unplayable. you canãt even back away from an opponent like you wouldin a normal fighter ã± if you do, you turn your back on them and get pounded on. in allmy time playing this crap, i have honestly never won a single fight ã± thereãs nothingi can do! the only way to really play the game is just to mash the buttons and hopefor the best, honestly. nothing about it makes sense. even the fact that it isnãt #1 doesnãtmake sense, because i can barely imagine anything thatãs worse than thisã–however, there issomething worse. awesome possum. yes, itãs still #1. thereare perhaps games that control worse, or that look worse, or simply are worse ã± i wonãtdeny any of that. awesome possum is simply
#1 because i hate him. even when paired againstother sonic rip-offs, he outstrips any of them ã± bubsy the bobcat is honestly nothingcompared to the possum. everything about the possum is awful ã± the ã«tude emanating fromhis stupid slab of a face, that typical ã¬isnãt this so silly?ã® grin, but more than anythingelseã–thereãs the speaking. every single thing he does is accompanied by somethingannoying. justã–hear it for yourselves. do you understand? no? how about some more then?had enough yet?...ok. and all of this is in service of some warpedenvironmental message that just feels tacked on ã± something else that could sell the gameand nothing more. itãs kind of amusing if you get one of the environmental questionswrong ã± the animal court gasps as if youãve
just kicked a seal to death in front of themã± butã–this is all bollocks, isnãt it? like this game even gives the slightest crap aboutthe environment ã± all it merely wants to do is hector without teaching anybody anything.as someone whoã–well, actually does care ã± thatãs more annoying than anything. frankly,all the plastic wasted on making this game means it did more harm than good. and yes, it runs like a dog to boot ã± itãsso juddery, slow and uncontrollableã–it has all the trappings of a terrible platform game,believe me ã± if i say that another game has awful controls, iãm going to cut off my hands.but thereãs something else about the possum that makes me hate him and put him above everythingelseã–heãs just got that edge. iãm a calm,
loving flower-child kind of guy, and as soonas i see the possum i want to throttle the bastard out of existence. heãs more effectivethan the two minutes hate in 1984. and thatãs why heãs #1! congratulations! ugh. no more to be said ã± the videoãs over.thanks for watching, have a good one and all that. bye!
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