welcome to the giant snail races the crowd goes wild it's christmas too! christmas in july! hello and welcome to the giant snail races, ho ho ho it is christmas time and it is in july and next to me is the lovely... oh yeah, i am racerx gullwing, what am i looking at over there? i am not really paying attention to where the cameras at all
anything but look at the camera over here is mae best! hydi ho and welcome to the show and seated next to me is the festive tindallia soothsayer hi hi everybody, merry christmas. and next to me is the lovely as usual, shayna paine hello everyone welcome to the giant snail races and next to me is an imitation santa, oodle mi noodle ho ho ho ho. welcome to chirstmas in july, where are my presents? driving our balloon as fast as she can
is stephanie brimmer hello i am stephanie brimmer oh yeah, driving now, driving as fast as i can and now we go down to racerx gullwing and the stats for the first race of the day... i mean trophies so we just finished the fourth season and oh yeah, i am racerx gulwing we just finished the fourth season, (whispers from behind racer ... he doesn't know who he is this week) week six week six means we finished this season racer mumbles about a christmas mircle over here in first place we have lulee babenco
which race is this racer? this is for the amateur races yay! queenie won it... no wait, lulee won it... baby pea could not make it today, she won second place over here in third place is queenie promise she is very excited about that yay queenie! and now we start the voting for best in show. no, we go down the rabbit hole for the first race of the day
the crowd screams in terror pauses to take a breath then continues to scream oh this is gonna hurt we are here! i think everyone made it safely again we have made it to the ground track safely our audience is seated nicely over here and what a great crowd today also we have a nice crowd over on the facebook page today if you are watching us live, with a slight delay this is the part where we start filming the first race of the day
hey, someone just touched my hat... it was mae! guilty as charged, shayna made me do it just think if you were here, you could touch my hat too and set off the fireworks let us now introduce the snails for the first race of the day in the purple scarf is lulee babenco in the red scarf is abby black in the blue scarf is cally kane and lobby riggles in the green scarf queenie promise is pulling the sleigh in the cyan scarf
now we go over to tindallia soothsayer on the button this will shoot a cow at the invisible gate, yay for the invisible gate there is a gate here that the camera cannot see, but the live audience can and there goes the cannon behind the snails to launch the cow for a mooo-ree christmas cows are a strategic thing in snail racing we use them to break open gates there it goes! and there goes the gate and the snails are off!
and we are off as the audience benches take to the sky oh they killed the sheep the sheep won and killed the snails... no they killed the newbie new this week, we have bumper cars! thank you tindallia soothsayer! bring your friends over to the gullwing coast and play on the bumper cars and ride the roller coaster we also have pinball machines in the bar and a rocket ride on top of the bar lulee is taking the lead as snails collide heading over the shark bay racer expresses a desire to put our island on the amusement park list ... we rival disney
our benches fly in the sky behind the snail who wears the coordinating color scarf cally kane gets a high bounce as the snails head round to check point two the snails must hit the check points to register passage abby black is in the lead lulee takes the lead as abby inexplicably turns around we said her name and she turned and went the wrong way and the snails are entering the mushrooms where anything can change this is the part were we have added xylophone keys and if you guess the tune, the first three winners will win a prize the song is on our stream, can you guess which song it is?
send your guess to oodlemi noodle into the ice cream first is queenie promise and lulee wearing a waffle cone is heading into the waffle cone...and now we all want a waffle cone stressed is just desserts spelled backward. lulee is looks good enough to eat no eating the contestants, it is a rule we have a reindeer in the front with a red nose... queenie promise is heading down to the start gate to start lap number 2 she is having trouble on the bouncy snow over here
and the snails are starting on lap number 2 this is the giant snail races amateur race, where you too can get your snail on abby black is bringing up the rear as abby heads into her second lap, the rest of the pack is heading through check point one you can visit us and ride the roller coaster (use mouse look for the best experience) what does the racerx statue have in his hat today? he is holding a christmas tree and his bunny hat buddy is wearing a santa hat and the snails are leaping over the shark tank heading to checkpoint 2 the eagle is sitting on the statue
no egos involved here racer's ego? there is no room for anything else we think racer's ego dropped that giant waffle cone on the shore racer changes the subject: we have queenie promise in the lead, lulee in a close second lulee won last season cally kane, a new racer, is in third with a close follow by lobbie riggles cally got a high bounce, she needs to learn to control her air brakes here is the music again, listen closely
it is hard to hear the notes with so many on it at once, but it sounds good! it is in harmony, remember it is the notes, not the beat... staff members have run over it many times, we don't have the answer... and still are not any closer to knowing it is a hard one oodlemi will give us a new hint next week queenie hits the top of the ramp and is getting ready to go into her final lap lulee is a close second, cally cane is in third check out the bumper cars...what a nice edition to the island fun mae rejects turning the whole track into a keyboard
and the snail's slime their way to check point one abby is starting on her final lap all the snails are making it through the check points today and no score board problems! racer is told to stop jinxing it queenie is across the balls racer rejects the jinx notion, he threw out his jinx button what is the difference between snowmen and snow women? snow balls racer says he is kidding there was never a jinx button... mae disagrees and states there is always a jinx button
tindy confirms that racer has a jinx button scripted into the sim queenie promise is belting lulee in the face with her sleigh, smacking her to a stable 2nd place position don't forget to check out the great posters created for us by baby pea baby pea, our content producer, creates a new poster for each theme that is a great snail on the poster this week mae reveals that images are found under open content sources via google image queenie promise is the first one to nose her way into the ice cream oodles has requested a snail in a space suit lulee is in second, followed by lobby riggles, cally is in fourth and abby black is in fifth
queenie has a significant lead today abby is having trouble in the mushrooms, she is being sauteed queenie promise is being pummeled by multi balls as she comes in for the win queenie promise in for the win cally and lobby are coming in neck to neck... it is going to be close this is going to be close, lulee is right behind them lobby and her sunburned snail is in second cally has third and lulee is fourth abby is heading up the ramp to conclude our race today
racer says abby did not do well because she did not decorate her snail this week racer is soundly admonished abby takes a high bounce and then another her audience bench is spiraled up after her, lets see if it follows her back down... no she has lost her fans, we lose more audience members this way she has abanded her audience to the sky they are gone, never to be seen again recap queenie promise was in first place
second place is lobbie riggles third place is cally kane fourth place is the princess of raglands, lulee babenco and coming in fifth place is abby black her name tag has been sleighed by the score board also known as little abs look there is our audience with mae best for best in show mae best why don't you tell us about who won best in show
hydi ho and welcome to the best in show today’s theme is christmas in july tindallia soothsayer has brought us to a winter wonderland this scenery gets me so excited i just want to touch my elf today we have -6 - snails dressed to holiday theme and are eligible for prizes cally kane you have won -4th - runner up with your snail bundled up for the winter’s chill. cally is a great snail racer and intends to take the pole position. cally is going to be egg noggin out on the course today so get ready for the holiday spirits.
alden cortes, you have won - 3rd- runner up today. alden came in and asked us where the rein beers were… beer is the only way to survive the in laws during the holidays. alden revealed she has a secret fear of santa, she is claustrophobic. queenie promise, you have won - 2nd- runner up as we all know queenie does not lack elf esteem. she told us she ate her snowflakes for breakfast today and she is ready to sleigh us on the track lobbie riggles, you have won -1st - runner up,
lobbie says she is ready to shoot down the chimney to the finish line and that soot’s her just fine, i asked her aren’t you worried about getting sick from all that dust? she told me, aw heck, i’ve had my chimney flu shot and i am taking that shot to win the next race, but she admits she is worried about becoming a krispy cringle… so don’t light that fire under her. tindallia soothsayer, the creator of our track, you have won honorable mention give tindy a big round of applause folks, without tindy we would not have a track theme. tindy reports that jesus was born in december and both mother and child were in stable condition. lulee babenco, you have won best in show
lulee is the princess of raglands. lulee told me there is one phrase that best sum up the christmas season are: "peace on earth, goodwill to men and batteries not included." watch out on the track today, its bitter cold and we don’t want to freeze a jolly good fellow. a special thank you to our festive audience today for coming dressed for merry mayhem for us today thank you also for those of you who have contributed to our island tier, your contributions do keep our snails running. i know it is the thought that counts, not the gift... but folks it would be much appreciated if you could think a little bigger during our fund raiser this coming month. thank you to the sponsors of our show, kerhops innovations, treet tv and you tube
where you can jingle in your chair at home watching the snail races wearing nothing but your santa suit. don’t forget to subscribe to our feed and like us, like us on face book and check out the new snail dude’s page! join me on tuesday night at 8 pm sl time for a punishing quiz right here on the snail track with a possible sneak preview of next week’s track courtesy of tindallia now back to our own very own santa racerx gullwing and his subordinate claus snail dude. this is racerx gullwing and this is the part of the show where i put our favorite snail dude into the cannon our favorite dare devil snail, right into the cannon that is what we do every week snail dude just get right into the cannon
you know he is impatient when he looks at his arm prepare to be astonished always glad when the cannon closes, it is a mystery why it doesn't...mutters something about snail dude gaining weight and doesn't fit there he goes and he is off to land in the bucket of water on the other side of the sim it shoots him way up into the sky oh! the water was frozen... he left a smear on the top of the water...and if you look close you can see his eyeballs blinking at us from the snow and the crowd goes wild we will rake him up and put him back together for the next race
that was a lot of fun so now we head over to see who won the trophies in the pro races so this is the conclusion results of season 4 race 6 this is where we see the winners from last season pro races in first place we had tindallia soothsayer alden cortes came in second catten carter who is home for the holidays could not be here this week has won third place now we go out to the start line for the second race of the day season 5
we have lulee babenco in the purple scarf oodlemi noodle is showing up as having won third place for this race that hat not started yet oods confirms that he has indeed won third place in today's race that has not yet been run a christmas mircle tindy confirms that oodlemi has third place this race, but has dibs on first third, turd... it works abby black is in the red scarf oodlemi noodle is in the blue scarf and not in third place lobbies riggles in the green scarf
queenie promis in the cyan scarf racer then gets confused (surprise, surprise, surprise) tindallia soothsayer in the yellow scarf cally kane is in the orange scarf alden cortes in the pink and this is a mug shot, the coffee mugs are put on our new page for sale! click and now over to shayna paine on the button lets cow that invisible gate into submission
ok let's do a little dance and launch the brr grr's dancing to the gate gods maybe the gate will show itself this is the final race of the day, first pro race in season 5 racer tells us he did turn the sling shot back on from last week here comes the cows and the dance worked, there is the gate the gate has exploded and the snails are out of their traces as pieces of the gate is hurled into the audience. the audience chairs lift into the air to follow the snails wearing the matching color scarf to the colored seats
the stars mean that the snails are colliding and the snails are heading into lap 1 and over the shark tank up past the christmas tree you can see our audience members floating behind their snails tindy is in the lead lobbie and abby black have second position looks like alden in fourth oodlemi is still showing third place, so we will have to monitor his progress visually the track is lagtastic today
remember, children. the best way to get a puppy for christmas is to beg for a baby brother. tindy is heading up to the slingshot, lets see if she gets lift and she does and almost makes it all the way over lobbie does make it all the way over alden gets lift for a moment tindy has lost first place to lobby alden is part of the pack at the top of the ramp why is christmas just like a day at the office? you do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
and we are starting lap number two, tindy, lobbie, alden... heading to the shark tank as lulee and queenie hit the arena cmon rudolpf i detect a northern accent in that word shark mae admits she did not spend her whole in alaska... it just feels that way oodlemi trys to get some lift oods says he is driving on ice he is leaving a bunch of gears behind him too, just falling apart oodlemi recently dumped all the customized snails in his inventory..
.they were all named snail so he does not have his candy cane snail today what goes "oh oh oh"? santa walking backwards there goes tindy winding up for the final lap alden is closing the gap lobbie riggle has fallen into third position the score board is nearly working today when you stop believing in santa claus is when you start getting clothes for christmas!
tindy is bouncing over the sharks and alden slips under the balloon let's all be naughty this year and save santa the trip. how do you know that santa is a man? no woman wears the same attire every year oh alden missed the snowball! alden is in the tank, this may cost her second place lobbie pulls back into second how do you know when santa's in the room? you can sense his presents.
we have someone flying around the course they may have fallen out of the empty seat lobbie has slipped into the town, will alden get back her position? alden leaps over lobbie and alden is back in second lobbie goes through check point 3 the 3 stages of racer: he believes in santa claus. he doesn't believe in santa claus. he is santa claus. tindy wins it! alden is heading up the ramp for second
what is the best evidence that microsoft has a monopoly? santa claus had to switch from chimneys to windows. cally needs another lap and alden comes in for second did you know that santa's not allowed to go down chimneys this year? it was declared unsafe by the elf and safety commission. alden missed check point three, head back for three? lobbie is coming in for second how do you scare a snowman? you get a hairdryer!
lobbie has second and alden goes back for check point three whats the difference between the christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? the christmas alphabet has noel. oodles come down for third place luee comes in abby comes in queenie comes in it is between cally and alden the spring is not working for alden
what do christmas trees and bad knitters have in common? they both drop their needles. cally is coming out of the maze and alden is still struggling with the spring it isn't over yet, alden can still lose her grip on the ramp alden comes down for 7th place cally brings up the rear and concludes the race recap cat meows in the background cheering on all the snail racers what is your cat's name?
cat mae named her kitty... cat tindallia soothsayer is in first place lobbie riggles came in second place oodle mi noodle came in third as predicted lulee babenco came in fourth place abby black came in fifth place queenie promise came in 6th place alden cortes had 7th place
cally kane has 8th place now is the time on snail races when we dance before we dance, i wanted to point out something tindy did for us for the show today... she created stockings for each of our staff members a green one for me a white one for mae a pink one for tindy a red one for shayna oods gets purple
stephanie brimmer gets blue of course and fukuju gets one in yellow and so now is the time on snail races when we dance for real what is our theme for next weeks show tindy? your going to need your sunblock 5000 because next week you are all going to the hell the hell? what! abby get out from under lobbies dress
abby laughs and scurries to hide beneath something else goodnight everybody! you can watch us again on youtube!
Comments
Post a Comment