casio watch leather

it was not in my hard to do what i did present position the whole life i livein such shock i didn't know what was going to happen the door open slowly andwarren jeffs watchin quietly not saying or lead you down the hallway quietlyinto the bathroom as he starts to talk to me saying you know this is god's will this is god who are and what is goodnight what's about to happen is between you and me and god my dad had three wives 20 kids prettycrazy lifestyle but you know growing up in it was normal for me my grandfatherwas a prophet of the church

would be they would consider everythinghe's saying and doing is representing what god warns as far as young mengetting a wise he would turn himself in to the prophet of the church toreligious and say that he is ready to be married religious within say ok i'mgoing to have a prayer and talk with god and see who he decides to assign you awife grace around the compound in which he decided to put his house the schoolbuilding my dad's house and his two brothers houses on that compound kinda keep us away from the outsideworld through everything was perfect obedience and perfect faith if that wasnot accomplished or you did not follow

everything today asked if you then theworst thing would happen would become you would become an apostate which meansan enemy of the church and at the very end of it all you would be burning inhell i mean we are brainwashed into thinkingthat this is the only way of life to live and that is there's there's noother you live this life for you have no life flds is a cold because they take awayeveryone's choice to decide to be whoever they want to be it's a coldbecause they take away free will playing with the kids

everything's different the door openslowly and incomes warren quietly not saying or and grabs my hand leading medown the hallway quietly into the bathroom and i remember it like it wasyesterday and is easily leads will do the bathroom he closes the door quietlyas he starts to talk to me in a way that i didn't quite understand as a five andsix-year-old boy basically saying you know this is god's will this is god's work and what is goodnight what's about to happen is between and if you tell anybody or they'resaying anything that you're turning your back on god and you're gonna burn untilso immediately my heart just stopped

she's always i think she has we needed to be obedient to god'scalling a requirement that if you want to be apart of their ministry you need to move into this compound at three houses on iti think of general lilas message has always been about warfare spiritualwarfare meaning good against evil smile i had said that god had told them thatthey were armed and that they wanted us in uniform so they purchase skirts andtacky tops told us she has so with the way that we were gone todayarmy and we had the important message

that we need to spread to mankind andthat is that they needed repin that people were evil everyone is happy things are arrangedeveryone will talk to them everybody's smiling at each other andgradually as the members return things start to get different and they start tochange and i start to become more demanding and they start to test thepeople how faithful there are going to be we were hearing that if you leftgod's judgment upon you double and we were talked to work against all doubtswe were talk to and give everyone here

anybody relationship that i was cut offfrom all this was i knew they were not allowed to talk to our families we werenot allowed to watch tv listen to radio we're not allowed to read the newspaperthey had complete and utter control one of the things that while i did she wentinto my bedroom and she and she kind of position moment having a baby she started tellingus that she was compelling and burning souls into god's kingdom lila point toyou and she went up to him and later started behind it he became their firsthand man he crying and cursing and kicking and i remember as a kid havingto help his arm down

and their kids were joined in and try topin him down through begins to and for me it was like someoneis stabbing a nice right inside of me and most horrible pain in the world gaudy to me god wanted nothing to dowith me and he's thrown me out to the trash that boy it was extremelydifficult to understand and comprehend and there's this horrible event was over grabbed my hand and then back down thehall into the room right where the other kids are playing and i would just go inand sit down and just recoil everything

in her wondering what is going on as iwas sitting in this room full of kids after this would happen in all this painthat i was in i would just sit there quietly shaking and not say anything andjust don't you to myself and all i wanted to do is to run my mom and my dadespecially my mom but i couldn't i had this overwhelming fear inside of me thattook over everything that i thought i had such a fear of god in me and i wasgonna burn in hell i never thought about asking my brothers i was too ashamed iwas way too ashamed everything about talking to them about it dealing with the fear of warren jeffscoming after me was something i had to

deal with on a daily basis anytime he was around i did not feelsafe at all i thought very very vulnerable warren jeffs would do thesethings to me they were randomly i mean we have our sunday classes just happenedagain again all these parents put all their trust in a man of power to run aschool and be the principal of the school for all of these kids yet behindclosed doors he is this predator who is molesting and raping children and no oneeven knows about too and that guarding against anythingwith emotion and their big into casio demons and when they first startedcasting out demons him the first time

that they prayed on me as a child iremember not feeling anything and sitting there and having scream at thetop of my ear and ear ringing and her sweaty the devil out of my head guard duty not having enough sleep andother method to wash people's head because they're too tired think i neverhad the idea of leaving i never had the idea of way because i was afraid that if i left i go to helpourselves we were taught to push anything away from our mind that was notsomething the greensward want and when

you start not being able to think foryourself it's very easy for someone to control you it takes that subtlebrainwashing and the breaking down of people's minds to get them in a placewhere they will no matter what the older men in the church the bishops older men who are higher up in thechurch they were competition for these young women these older men one of theseyoung women who bright so they would find ways anyway that they could for anywrongdoing these young men were doing even it wasn't wrong and kick him out ofthe church back into first grade claim would notput up with anything the war had said to

him or anything or tried to pull over onhim a big threat and decided to do a funeral service funeral service for warren had sent afew of his i guess you could call lieutenant he would send them up on theside of the mountain where we grew up with binoculars and they were spying inour yard basically two catches in the act for what was going on decided what he stands for he stood upand says i will no longer be a part of the church and i will take my familywith me and there's nothing you can do about it

our entire family was kicked out of thechurch and you know we were on our own of that the more parents abuse their childrenand the greens we're in the grain size my stepfather was very very loyal to thegrahams he had a very close relationship with lilac and he would do anything thatthey are steve was probably the most beautiful person in there i would watchhim and stole my mother i watch him get on my mother's case i treat my motherbadly and this was ok because he was in with the greens and i remember one timethat i heard steve tell my mother that he she needed with my brother because hewas making noise i needed to take him

outside and spank her mother bear butwith a leather belt because he was cooing making cute noises during theirservice i i think my children would cry when i youknow after the event would happen if i didn't hourly i cried because not to cry eyewitness tourism abuse going on in thegroup one of the parents in their used to drill her son and make him stand upand sit down for 30 minutes at a time and he had he was little he was abouttwo and a half and when he did not listen he was being a basement for daysat a time one member of the group beat him with the board had nails he wouldcry out to god and pray to god wow so

everyone could hear him while he waslocked up yet no one would ever acknowledged the way of the greens were called tomillions they want to break every bomb that every family member with each other mother and child husband and wife itdoesn't matter if they send some bomb there they're going to break it tonight the members of the church on over there and welded our nation toto the sidewalk to let up to the church so that was another you know slam

and go through city because of the people and being told youknow you're not you can no longer be a part of this church because of who yourfamily is why you represent to leave it was the final blow i mean i'm i'm donei'm tired of this i'll take my chances i just finished with the church here tomake that decision this church had no longer had anything to offer mewhatsoever and i had to turn around and walk away from i told myself that it was ok because iwill be going to have him as a reward

for all this she said there's somebody here who'sgonna wish that they were not alive that person ended up being my mother isaccused of adultery which meant that i put something god in first place in mylife and my family they said that i idolised my children crying and i didn'tunderstand i was so confused i felt calm down i felt like it was going to happento me was gonna have to my family would you know i i i felt very afraid it was the kids play house she wasdeemed nothing but peanut butter sandwiches she was to work they had ashopping where they had her painting the

size of houses may told us that we werenot allowed to speak with her that she was to wear a black scarf on her headand then we were to call her forsaken she did all the dishes for forty peopleevery morning and every night she did nothing but work and didn't have ashower she had to take a shower and went around sacramento is very hard for me totop the witness my mother going through this sort of thing at the time i waspregnant with my first child my mother was judge it broke my heart that mymother couldn't be apart i would see my mother in the back yard work in the mostpainful thing god i was told that there was no hopefor me so they put me on the street with

a partial belonging so moved out of my parents decided to golive with them and start life out on my own and not have anyone tell me what todo or how to live my life anymore i was anybody telling me how to live my life iwas just finished with it all at sixteen years old and living in an apartmentsleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor with my brother should drugs so you knowgetting in the stupid things drinking and smoking weed problems melt away fromthe time we were running away and trying to escape the pain that had beeninflicted upon us for sure and they were overtaking me was in andout of rehab

and clean i just listened and could notbelieve the things that happened to him when i found out that claim was also avictim of warren jeffs being raped and molested that that threw me for a loopand i turned to him and says oh my god plane have the same story you know i wasthinking the same thing happened to me through war and you know we shared a lotof tears and stories in and for him to find out the brother also was a victimof warren jeffs crushed him i could see it in his eyes and we both just satthere for a while because we could not believe we were targeted by warren insuch a way screaming phone call from his wifesaying the plane and shot himself and i

couldn't believe my own flesh and bloodmy own brother who i love dearly and looked up to take his life my mother and there was no questioningwhat they did i had to show that i was completely loyal to them they told me they had been sick for aweek and that god had told them that they were sick of me that i love my sontoo much and that i hadn't recent him enough i didn't understand because hewas a baby couldn't comprehend had done wrong is usually when babies cry it'sbecause they're tired took my phone away from here for a week and

evening shortly after several trailersdoing the dishes and i was in the bathroom trailer trying to toilet trainas i'm trying to quiet my son down from his whimpering terms to me makes me straight in the eyeand she says rebecca i'm trying to stay out of your life but you don't ask himif he wants a spanking you give him one and she turned out of the trailer walkedout and slammed the door i spank my child because i had to it was againstevery bone in my body but i did it because i had to had to prove that i wasin beating so i had to with a belt spank my poor young child i think that i lookback on that and i'm very ashamed very

very i tried to be as gentle as ipossibly could was not hard to do but i had to and ipaused and shock and something in my head clicked and i said to myself that'sit i've had it i've had enough i can not abused my children anymore they canamuse me all they want but i could not abused my children it was so painful tohave to make a decision so that evening i told my that i wanted relief family in such a way i knew deep downinside if i didn't do something if i didn't stand up for this who is who'sgonna stand up against warrant no one i had so much anger inside of me

iii now i just felt like i was a trainthat couldn't be stopped and also tell me that they had also been raped by war against him and pretty much the lawsuitand then all these other lost who's started coming about right after mineright after him that is when warren went on the run with a three-month two-year-old on myhead and we snuck and taxi and we laughed and my husband looked at me veryalarmed and he asked me are you ok are you thinking about going back are you okand i said no i said i'm leaving everything that i know and i'm leavingon a really good friends and i know i

will never see that moment that i wasgoing to hell god and i was going to help and i had tobecause i couldn't being abused anymore couldn't do it a few days after the members of the coldwere instructed to demolish the insides of the buildings because god said thatthey are to be holy and they're not to be walked on water man had nothing to dowith that was there never once in the greens never admitted to any wrongdoingsince they hear from god god can never be wrong and therefore they can neveradmit to making a mistake and they never will i'm just thankful that i'm freefrom that and i no longer have to fear

them and and and i have a sense ofmyself and who i am i grieve for my children agreed that they childhood wheni'm around i feel that part of them that was broken when there are children so irealize that at this point in my life there's nothing really that i can dobecause i can't reverse control of our lives it's fear ofwalking away from everything that you've ever been todd and having to rethink ihad a hard time deciding what to eat hard time deciding what to wear a hardtime deciding my hair style should be i didn't know what to do i didn't know howto think for myself it was quite a process to go from being a mindlessrobot into how many think for yourself

and i think ultimately does impactpeople whether they want to admit to it or not for the rest of their livesbecause the pain it never goes away and people in the world are actuallygonna see what this person is and howard 24 what i believe in andstand up for my two brothers that passed away stand up for every one of thosepeople that could not speak for themselves for i was supposed to go onthe stand and he's a little room outside of the courtroom he couldn't face theone person who stood up against him from the very beginning with a coward hold we're just sitting there see theelevator doors open and stands right

there is